I have been doing a lot of reflecting back on my life lately. Not to live in the past, but to learn from it, so I can heal and grow.
I have lived the majority of my life with a sense of heaviness. I have felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.
There have been periods of happiness, but it’s almost always based on external circumstances.
As I am trying to understand the main source of my pain, God put this so strongly on my heart.
Overwhelming Need for Control
The number one source of my pain in my life is that overwhelming need to be in control.
I believe that is the root cause of the heaviness and suffering that I have felt my entire life.
Control is the master addiction and until we learn to let go of control, we will always be unhappy and dare I say miserable.
Surrender Every Area of My Life to Christ
What I am learning on my journey is the only path out of unhappiness is to surrender every area of my life to Christ.
To trust God 100%.
To let go of needing things to be a certain way for me to be happy.
To let go of people needing to behave a certain way for me to be happy.
To trust that God’s plans are better than my plans.
It’s one thing to say I believe in God.
It’s a whole different level to live my life in a way that shows I believe in God.
That means living a life of joy and inner peace regardless of my circumstances.
It means to be open to let God work in my life by giving up control and the need to prove myself through performance.
Faith in Action
One tangible way I can show my trust in God is to tithe. That was easy for me to do when I was in pharmaceutical sales and was making a lot of money.
It has been a bigger challenge for me to trust God in my finances since becoming an entrepreneur.
It’s kind of ironic now that I am in ministry I am less willing to trust God with my finances.
The story of the widow’s offering speaks to my soul.
“Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth, but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on.” Mark 12: 41–44
I want to be more like the widow who trusted God 100% and knew that all of her needs would be taken care of. I want to put in everything.
I am learning that control is just an illusion.
God is in control, and I am not. Man that is so hard to let go of.
Can you relate?
What areas of your life are you trying to control?
For me it’s finances and relationships.
As A.W. Tozer says, “If Jesus is not LORD of all, he is not LORD at all.”
I am ready to try a new way of living that means trusting God in every area of my life.
I am sure there will be plenty of times where I want to hold on tightly to control which I know leads to unhappiness.
I am so ready to give up my number one source of pain, which is the need to control.
I am choosing to have more inner peace and joy in my life by giving up control, how about you?
Founder and Creator of Barbells & Brothers