Allowing My Creative Expression

Troy Ismir
3 min readNov 21, 2022


I am in the midst of recovering from a bout of vertigo. It’s something I have never experienced before and hope to never experience again. It has thrown me off balance physically and knocked me off center emotionally. It has been a month of room spins feeling disoriented.

As frustrating as it has been, there is a lesson I am being shown as I listen to my Higher Self. I am trying to understand what the possibility is for growth and expansion from this awful feeling of the spins.

This is the lesson I am being shown. Recently I finished my third manuscript for my book that I started quite some time ago. It has been a long process filled with self-doubt.

The inner critic has screamed at me relentlessly causing me to question my self-worth.

The voice inside my head says, “Who am I to write a book, especially one that shares my own personal story? I am not significant. My story doesn’t matter.”

Since finishing this third manuscript with lots of edits and rewrites still to go, I stopped writing. I stopped expressing myself creatively.

My Writing Is a Creative Outlet for Me

I now have a deeper realization that my real purpose for writing is for me. It’s a creative outlet that allows me to get my thoughts from my head to my heart. It’s a form of meditation and healing.

When I struggle with an illness or an ache or pain, I reference Louise Hay’s book, Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way To Overcome Them.

I looked up dizziness in the book and here is what it had to say.

Symptom: Dizziness

Problem: Flighty, scattered thinking. A refusal to look.

New Thought Pattern: I am deeply centered and peaceful in life. It is safe for me to be alive and joyous.

My Joy Brings People Pain

I have struggled to speak up for myself with ease. I have been concerned that being true to myself would cause someone else pain. My joy brings people pain so it’s not safe for me to be joyous.

The other area I have been challenged with is allowing myself to express my creativity through writing, being overly concerned with what others think about what I have to say.

I have written in a safe way trying not to offend anyone when I speak my truth. I have lost my inner peace many times over because of the over-caring of people’s opinion of me.

These are the habitual patterns that I am working on overcoming in my life.

I have either denied myself what makes me happy feeling trapped or I experience shame and guilt for doing what makes me happy.

It has felt like a no win situation feeling damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

It’s Safe For Me to Be Alive and Joyous

Moving forward I will write because I love to write. I will write because it helps me be centered and balanced. It makes me feel alive and joyous to create as an artist through the art of writing.

I will also do my best to speak up expressing my needs, because my needs are important. I can honor my needs while allowing others to express their needs. That sounds like a win-win situation to me. It’s much better than stifling who I am.

Like anything else, it will take patience and practice with lots of perseverance to express myself in a healthy way.

I am ready to be healed from this dizziness once and for all. It is safe for me to be alive and joyous doing what I love for me. Let the healing begin.

Troy Ismir

Spiritual Warrior

Inner Transformation Coach



Troy Ismir

My mission is to awaken the courageous souls of men daring us to follow our own pathless path living a life that is true to our courageous souls